But God Was With Me...

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in Judges 6. In fact, if you’ve followed my story for long, it’s one that should sound pretty familiar. Judges 6 is the story of Gideon. Gideon is terrified as he and all his people are surrounded by an enemy bigger, stronger, and better equipped than Gideon’s people. Food is limited and courage is scarce, if found at all, knowing that there is no hope for a safe or brighter future.

In the days of COVID-19, this story comes to mind. Like Gideon, you probably feel as though your only option is to hide and to store for yourself whatever provisions you can.  Like Gideon, you may feel overwhelmed, disillusioned, hopeless that you can do anything to change the situation.

But like Gideon, you have a God that is NOT surprised by our situation anymore than He was by Gideon’s. You have a God that calls you a MIGHTY warrior. You have a God that is FAR able to do MORE than you can possibly hope for or imagine.

I know that just like Gideon, you probably feel anything but mighty or a warrior. Maybe you look around your home and think the only battles I’m fighting are with my kids or my spouse. Maybe you think a warrior wouldn’t be afraid of what the future holds..worried about how much longer I can keep my business open…or pay my bills…or keep food on the table. A warrior wouldn’t worry about what will we do if one of us does get sick. No…I may be a lot of things, but a MIGHTY WARRIOR, I am not.

But, just like the Angel of the Lord told Gideon, I am telling you, “the Lord WILL {IS} with you.” He is. I know it may not feel like it. I know when you’re up in the middle of the night wrestling the fears of the very real possibilities of the ‘what ifs’…

’what if we become homeless’; ‘what if I get laid off or have to close my business’; ‘what if I become sick-or they become sick’; ‘what if….we can’t keep the bills paid, what are we going to do’?

As someone who has stood on this ground, I get it. I really, really get it.

After Chris became critically ill in March of 2018, I stood in your shoes. He had a business that closed. I had barely begun a dream of a business that I firmly believed God had called me to that closed. I had a husband that was on a ventilator with full blown ARDS-given no chance of surviving. I had bills to pay with no income and what felt like a mountain of debt. I had 2 young kids that were depending on me for food, and shelter and the basics of necessities and there was NO foreseeable way we wouldn’t end up homeless without a dime in a matter of weeks.

When I was in the MICU with Chris, I barely slept worried about him..worried about us..worried about the what ifs. When I was home, I would weep in the middle of the night knowing I had failed my kids-I had failed to protect them and meet their most basic needs. I saw NO hope..NO end in sight…NO future. I felt surrounded by my enemies, just like Gideon, and knew it was a matter of time before we would all be destroyed.

But God was with me.

I don’t have any other explanation but God. Let me be as clear as I know how to be. I am not special. My family is not special. We do not and did not deserve the grace He showed us. But I watched…for almost 2 full years as God showed up and provided. I was so humbled that God would care about me enough to use the hands of hundreds of you to meet EVERY need of my family for almost 2 years. I don’t know what the future holds for you or for us. But I know in these uncertain times, that there is a REAL and LOVING God who WILL be with you as you walk forward into this unknown. I know that He loves you so much more than you could ever grasp, and that regardless of your circumstances, you CAN trust Him to show up in them.

Looking back, walking through the last 2 years have been the greatest blessing of my life. It was excruciatingly difficult, but one I wouldn’t trade. So, if I can offer you anything it’s this, my mighty warrior friend:

God is WITH YOU. Trust Him REGARDLESS of how your circumstances look. Trust Him to show up. Trust Him to walk with you in them. Trust Him to meet your greatest needs-not necessarily your wants. Trust Him that it won’t ever look how you expect it to because God does not operate in the predictable. But trust Him that it WILL be worth it as He draws you closer to Him.